"Cuz I said so"

You hated it, didn´t you? When you got that answer as a child? No reason, no explanation...no closure......just a "cuz I said so"....AS IF! As if an adult thinks that is a sufficient answer....as if they think they are...semi god like!

You think "I´ll never say that to MY child...I will explain things, talk things thru.....

And god knows I try and understand my child....talk... explain....explain to them how the world works...

But then you become a parent and realize that what "cuz I said so" is IS how the world SHOULD work between a child and a parent....some of the time...... And you realize that not only is it a super quick way to NOT have to explain things.... it is also a TOOL... A tool that teaches respect, limits.....It teaches kids that they ARE KIDS...NOT adults and thus do not have the same decision making capacity... they DO NOT make the rules...it teaches them to (GASP!) obey! And just til they are old enough to decide for themselves, parents are semi god like...I am part ruler of your world.... there will be things that you can and CAN NOT do...things you CAN NOT have....

Simply....cuz I said so. Period. I am not god..... but right below Her.

I am not saying that parents should be dictators...There ARE reasons for the decisions we make as parents...of course! But do we really have to always explain our actions to kids ALL the time? I do not think so and sometimes I just don´t want to......I want her to just do what I say, or accept what I want without asking me every reason why, and analyze if its fair, if its not..I do enough of that in the adult world...its NOT something that needs to take place constantly with my children...

I was never much of a "Cuz I said so" parent, I admit......Til my 1st daughter turned about 8 yrs old and started questioning things, I tried to be "her friend" and her mother (ha ha) ...But then she "got smart"...started questioning my actions...my "demands"....I began to notice that she would sometimes demand things as if she was on my level...or would question my requests......And I began to think of all the rules my Dad had when I was young and how unfair they often were at the time to me ....but now make me realize that they were so much more then just rules.....

And that is how I found myself one evening arguing with my 8 yr old about "who" got to see "what" on TV...It had been a long day, I was ready to have a "calgon moment" with "Grey´s Anatomy"...and here I found myself fighting over a TV remote with an 8 yr old....A scenario that would have NEVER EVER taken place in my house as a child cuz it was a known fact that the adults got to watch what they wanted over any wishes of us measly lil kids...we would never EVER even dream to take the remote from my Dad and demand to see "Love Boat" if he wanted to see "Starsky and Hutch"........You just DID NOT do that.

But my 8 yr old had "rights"..she obviously felt she had to right to see "Witches of Waverly Place" at 9 p.m. over anything I wanted to see.....she said "You got to watch your TV last night!"...."Its my turn!"

And it hit me....she thinks I am 8....she doesn´t consider me a semi god...she thinks she has....GASP...my same rights!

And right then I decided....right there .....and I told her...."Yes, I watched my TV show last night.....and I will watch it EVERY NIGHT I WANT.....I do NOT take turns with an 8 yr old....when you are old enough and have your house and your TV that YOU worked for, you can watch your TV show every single night...but til then, This is MY house, and I will watch whatever I want WHEN I want ".

She looked at me with big surprised eyes and said "Thats not fair!" ....and I said "Oh yes, it is...cuz I AM THE ADULT and YOU are the child....and THAT is the way the world works".

She is now 10..I still have to remind her once in a while...its a work in progress.....But now sometimes, just cuz I want to, just cuz I feel like it...just cuz I stand behind MY right as an adult to be in charge, to demand respect, and above all to TEACH.....

I say "Cuz I said so".

On a side note, from this obscure blog no one reads I am sure since I hardly ever write in it (though I can ASSURE you I am constantly making up blog posts in my head that never actually reach the computer), I´d like to thank my own parents....Thanks for the slipper, the foot tap , the evil eye, the whistle, making me bring you the sunday paper to your bed and "the day is over"...it did not seem all fair and I am not repeating all of it with my kids.....but the essence of "Cuz I said so" is there.... as a parent I understand that now.

And as kids we hate it....But as adults, as parents.... we realize.....discipline is important.... and is a form of love.